What have I done?

Hello my dearest,

I hope you realize how much I care for You, and how I try to think of You all the time. I'm really trying to stay aware of Your presence always, but sometimes - I forget You. Unfortunately, it happens sometimes, yes. Don't be mad at me, please. And forgive me if You can. It's just to difficult for me right now to be 24/7 aware of You, but I'm learning and my will is strong. Help me on my Path please! Show me the Way or give me a sign that I'm doing fine!

I know everything You do - You do it for my own good. And I thank you for that. Even now, when I feel pain in my body, I know that's a great lesson for me (please, help me to understand this lesson and to learn how to be a better person). But it is also some kind of punishment. I know I've done so many bad things and made so many insults to You and Your friends, and this pain is just a small way of paying my debts to You. I'm sorry... I am sorry for everything wrong I've done to You. I'm sorry I've forgotten You for so many years. But now, I'm back again at Your feet, begging you to forgive me and wanting You to accept me as eternal servant of Yours.... I Love You....